Tyler had been in London for the week. He brought a new team from Bridgetown to visit our sister-ish church to KXC. His week was busy. He preached multiple times, had tons of meetings, and was installed as the US director for 24/7 prayer. No big deal. HA. The Monday before the team left, we sat in our living room full of expectation, knowing that these folks were most likely going to have a fantastic trip with incredible stories of crazy encounters with the Holy Spirit. The anticipation was palpable.
My mom (Mia) had flown to Portland, our new home, for the first time to help me take care of the boys/keep me sane while he was away. I dropped her off at the airport on Monday morning; both of us were a little more sleepy than average, not from the boys, but more because we stayed up way too late every night binge-watching Maid. (So GOOD). We said our goodbyes, and I returned home. Simon and I were playing with magnet tiles by the fire when Karen, my midwife, called. She asked if I had made an appointment for a heart echo. I had NO clue what she was talking about. Last I heard/saw, I had a 20-week anatomy scan just the week before where I was told my boy was perfect. Perfect baby, ten fingers, ten toes, a wiggly body, and a perfect little face– There was no mention of any issues with his heart. I didn’t panic as that’s usually never my MO and said, “sure, ok, totally, got it, I’ll call and make an appointment.
I set up some play-doh for the boys to play with, finished cleaning, and then sat for the first time. The worry set in. I obtained a copy of the actual scan (MISTAKE) because questions began to fill my mind. I bet it’s just a hole in his heart. Hm oh wait, probably a murmur or an arrhythmia, oh wait, what if it is what Van was born with and his heart needs severe operating on when he’s an adult? I looked at the scan and read a bunch of medical terms, and then instead of turning to God went straight to good ole Dr. Google. Perfect. Mistake number #2. LVOTO is all that showed as abnormal on the scan.
I couldn’t believe what I started to read once I typed those five daunting letters into my search queue. I shut my phone off, determined not to look one more thing up. I went to pick Hank up from school and tried my hardest to shove this weird news down deep into my stomach. Later, I texted Peter and Stephanie. Peter is a doctor and an elder at Bridgetown. I knew he’d tell me what was up, but most of all, I knew this couple would PRAY. They did just that. I knew as soon as I sounded the alarm they would be on their knees contending on behalf of my unborn son.
I woke up the following day. I opened my eyes and immediately was devastated that I hadn’t had a nightmare. Hank and Si came running into my bed. This usually is very unwelcomed, but this morning I was just fine with the distraction. Hank grabbed my face. “Why in the world are you crying, mom?” Every part of me wanted to toss the news back into the bottomless pit, but I knew my son would not find that satisfactory. I said, look, Hank, your brother’s heart is sick, and it makes me angry and sad and confused, and that is why the tears. Hank, in Hank’s fashion, grabbed my face put his hand on my stomach, and said, “Mom, don’t worry, everything is going to be just fine. His heart is beating just a little too fast-he is going to be just fine”. (He is his father’s son). We will pray. You told me God could fix anything”.
I guess God knew at that moment that those words were more powerful coming from my 5-year-old than Mother Teresa herself.
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